清晨，輕微的腳步聲照例驚醒了陸連芝，聲音停在她的床頭，壹縷溫暖且帶有沐浴露薄荷清香的氣息向她微微襲來。她閉著雙眼，從被子裏伸出胳膊，準確無誤地把站在床頭的小小身子攬過來，她挪了壹下，自己的頭就埋進那個小身子裏，瞬間讓她獲得壹種腳踏實地的滿足感。
“寶貝，今天我們不上學！”好壹會兒，她才輕聲說，在朦朧的晨光中撫摸過壹張溫暖而柔嫩的小臉蛋。小身子靜靜站了壹會兒，又像來時那樣，踩著輕微的腳步聲壹聲不吭離去了。
此時是清晨六點半，夏季時早就天色大亮了，她壹睜開眼就會看見默默經過壹夜的飽睡後健康紅潤的小臉蛋。她們沒有鬧鐘，從來都沒有，默默六點半準會站在她的床頭，像她的身體裏有個鬧鐘。孩子會站在床頭目不轉睛看著她，也不叫她，直到她睜開眼睛起床，洗漱好並送她去幼兒園。當然，這是四年前的事情了。默默兩歲半開始上幼兒園，但僅去了壹年，上幼兒園的時間卻像刻在她的腦子裏，她從來不用別人操心她起床的事情，這壹點，她比大多的孩子都強。陸連芝從來不承認自己的孩子有什麽異於常人的毛病，尤其是在智力方面。
在朦朧的晨光裏，她看見走出去的小小模糊身影，心裏疼了壹下。她知道孩子想去上學，但沒有壹所學校肯接收她。先天性自閉癥。在此之前陸連芝從未聽說過這個詞，這種莫名其妙的病癥就這樣猝不及防落在她的生活裏。默默從出生壹直很安靜，極少哭泣，對大人的逗弄也愛搭不理，隨便壹個玩具就能玩到累了獨自睡過去。陸連芝覺得這只是孩子的性情所致，這是個安靜內向的孩子，怎麽可能和疾病有關。直到上了壹年的幼兒園後，園裏的心理健康老師建議他們（那時候林喆還沒離開她們）帶孩子去醫院好好檢查。他們就把孩子從幼兒園接出來了，卻再也沒法送進去。兩年後，林喆選擇離開，他說他受不了……
陸連芝有喝早茶的習慣，不是講究，只是種習慣，譬如有人喜歡起來後沖壹杯咖啡醒醒神。她換過多種茶，最終選擇凍頂烏龍，沖泡出來有壹縷被陽光曬後的幹草氣息，這氣息讓她無比迷戀，回甘的芬芳也是她的生活中不多的快樂之壹。這並非說陸連芝是個悲觀的人，但樂觀並不等同於快樂。
照例是先去默默的房間，壹間貼著粉藍色壁紙的小屋。孩子謎壹般地喜歡藍色，墻壁是淡藍，小床上的鋪蓋是深藍，小衣櫃是亮藍，小書桌鋪著黛藍色的桌布。默默穿戴整齊地坐在床上，正在翻看最近新買的童話插畫本。她在床邊坐下來，目光落在孩子圓圓的腦袋上：她的頭發光潔細軟，在白熾燈下散發著烏黑的光澤，預示孩子的營養及健康狀況良好。陸連芝有種滿足，是的，至少她憑壹己之力把孩子養得還不錯。她忍不住伸手撫摸孩子的腦袋，孩子對她的愛撫無動於衷，沈浸在她少為人知的世界裏。
默默的世界於她來說是個謎。默默來自她，她創造了這個生命，但絕大部分時候她不知道孩子在想些什麽，她們幾乎沒有任何默契，默默總是壹個人安靜待著，幾乎不開口表達她的想法。妳從她的手裏奪走她心愛的玩具，她也只會靜靜望著妳，平靜的眼神和表情使妳無從判斷她的喜怒。她也極少哭泣。從幼兒園接她去檢查後，有兩年時間，她和林喆帶著默默東奔西跑求醫，醫生最後建議把孩子送到心理健康保健機構進行心理治療，可是這座小城市哪有什麽心理健康機構。後來她在別人的介紹下將默默帶去找壹位本市退休的心理健康顧問。那是位滿頭銀發的老太太，孀居，兒女都在外地，修養極好。她答應試試。有將近壹年的時間，每天早上九點她把默默帶去給老太太，下午六點接回來。老太太了解她的生活狀況，未收取任何費用，權當多了壹個孫女陪伴她打發寂寥白日。變化是有的，每次家裏來客人，進門的那壹刻，默默會從她沈浸的事情裏擡起頭，眼神略帶點疑問和吃驚打量來客。陸連芝牽著她走在大街上，碰上感興趣的東西，她的目光也會追隨著那東西移動。根據她的表情，陸連芝漸漸了解到孩子喜歡吃包菜、木耳、菠菜和甜玉米，喜歡的水果是木瓜、酥梨和柿子。討厭豬肉和鴨蛋，她還不怕辣，但反感醋酸。有壹次，陸連芝去接她回家，在小區的花圃前遇見壹只瘸了腿的流浪貓，貓的左前腿蜷曲著，走路全靠三條腿，這使它走起來頭重腳輕的，仿佛隨時都可能壹頭栽倒。三腳貓壹蹦壹蹦走在她們面前，她們越過貓時，默默掙脫了她的手，在貓的身邊站住，瞪著壹雙吃驚的眼睛。貓很警惕，喉嚨發出嗚嗚的警告聲。
“受傷了！”她輕聲說。
陸連芝當時楞住了，她記不得有多久沒聽到孩子說話了。後來她把這件事告訴老太太，老太太說應該把那只受傷的貓帶回家，也許那是壹個良好的開始。
遺憾的是疫情來了，全國人民禁足於家中，老太太在漫長的禁足期裏可能壹個人憋太久，生了壹場病，被外地的兒子接走，默默的治療就斷了。老太太臨走前告訴她，盡可能發現孩子感興趣的事情，找到***同的情感***鳴點，這也許是個不錯的突破口，更重要的是要多陪伴，自閉癥的孩子通常都是異常孤獨的。默默還算好，有些患者還會有危害他人和自身安全的行為，比如對火感興趣，動不動就想放火燒東西，包括點燃身上的衣物，等等。默默的獨立性也很強，這也是她的優點，切記，壹定要多陪伴。
她記住了。把情況和老板以及九五後同事說明，她們都同意她上下午班，每天下午三點後，默默便只能獨自壹人在家了。她有些不放心，但默默也很快習慣，陸連芝陪伴她吃了早飯和午飯，晚飯提前做好，放在壹個雙層保溫飯盒裏，壹遍又壹遍教她怎麽打開保溫飯盒並取出飯菜。到飯點時，她便打她的手表電話，默默壹般只會按下接聽鍵，並不出聲。但只要能按下接聽，陸連芝便放心了，她的耳朵緊貼著手機，仔細捕捉那頭的點滴聲音。她從手機裏聽到孩子細微的呼吸聲，翻看畫冊的聲音。陸連芝告訴孩子該吃飯了，口渴就吃已經洗幹凈的酥梨。她告訴她現在就去打開保溫飯盒。接著她便聽見默默走動的腳步聲，打開保溫飯盒的聲音。有時候她聽見那頭傳來壹聲輕微嘆息，她便知道今天把保溫飯盒蓋子擰得有些緊了，孩子在使力氣。這聲嘆息像極了壹把錘子，冷不丁給她的心臟來那麽狠狠壹下。她的眼眶瞬間溫熱起來，對孩子的種種虧欠爆滿她的心胸。日子算不上辛苦，也或許她心大，她真心沒覺得怎麽辛苦，當然也會為錢發愁。她沒多少存款，但她始終相信自己身上壹些令她安心的品質，只要她還健康活著，這些品質便可保證默默和她在任何情況之下，每天早上有溫熱的早餐，每天晚上有溫熱的洗澡水，這壹點她保證！只是除了溫熱的早餐和洗澡水，作為壹個母親需要盡的責任太多了，不能做到的都是虧欠，這壹點讓她受不了。她常常在電話這頭輕聲對默默說：“媽媽愛妳，寶貝，妳很棒！”
默默的早飯壹般是兩個南瓜小饅頭，壹杯豆漿和壹個雞蛋。她不喜歡喝牛奶，這壹點還是老太太告訴她的，而之前她的早餐壹直備有牛奶。今天早上她想換壹換。陸連芝壹邊燒水煮茶壹邊琢磨吃點什麽。她查看了冰箱，菠菜還有壹點，西紅柿兩個，壹袋雜菌，夠了，這些都是極好的配菜，可以煮兩碗營養全面的面食。壹杯芬芳的熱茶下去，身體徹底蘇醒了。這時候明亮的陽光剛好從廚房的窗戶斜照進來。壹個冬日的好天氣。薄薄的陽光頓時讓陸連芝有壹種莫名的好感，對周遭的壹切都抱有的柔軟的好感。這套八十平米的兩居室是二手房，已經是多年房產。那時候她和林喆沒那麽多錢為結婚購置新房，只能退而求其次。跟房主進來看房時，壹看到廚房裏這扇望出去便是田野的窗戶，她便下了決心。果然，每次做飯都會因為窗外的春播秋收而釋懷掉來自瑣碎生活的糾結。林喆把房子留給她，購房所欠的部分借款他承擔了。
母女倆安靜地吃早飯，陸連芝很少動筷子，手邊的茶水煙氣裊裊。她壹直盯著默默。孩子吃東西很雅致，閉著兩片紅潤的小嘴唇細嚼慢咽，每壹口都吃得很認真。她的嘴唇像林喆，這也是他身上最吸引她的部分，兩個嘴角天然上翹，仿佛唇邊時刻掛著微笑，眉毛也像他，粗而黑。額頭隨她，發際線很整齊，不過略微低了些。長相不算出眾，不過很耐看。快要七歲了，她想。所有的小學都不肯接收，她接受這個現實。老太太教會孩子認識不少字，她感激。接下來該怎麽辦？這個問題像個鐘擺，始終在她的心裏搖來晃去，如今又添新愁，失業了。
她伸手摸了摸孩子的頭，相對於同齡孩子，默默個子偏矮小了些。
“默默，媽媽失去工作了，沒有班上了。”她輕聲對她說。她從不隱瞞什麽，包括和黎尚的交往。她相信孩子能理解，她從來不懷疑孩子的智商。
默默垂著眼皮，認真吃壹塊帶皮的西紅柿。
……
正在使用發音
Someone set off fireworks late at night 2 (short story)
In the early morning, the light footsteps woke Lu Lianzhi as usual. The sound stopped at the head of her bed, and a warm breath with shower gel and mint fragrance hit her slightly. She closed her eyes, stretched out her arm from the quilt, and accurately took over the small body standing at the head of the bed. She moved her head and buried her head in the small body, which instantly gave her a sense of down-to-earth satisfaction.
"Baby, we don't go to school today!" After a while, she whispered, touching a warm and tender little face in the hazy morning light. The little body stood quietly for a while, and left without saying a word, stepping on the slight sound of footsteps as when he came.
It was 6:30 in the morning. It was already bright in summer. As soon as she opened her eyes, she would see her healthy and ruddy face after a full night's sleep. They have no alarm clock, never. They will stand at the head of her bed at 6:30 silently, like an alarm clock in her body. The child will stand at the head of the bed, staring at her and not calling her until she opens her eyes, gets up, washes and takes her to kindergarten. Of course, this was four years ago. Silently, she began to go to kindergarten at the age of two and a half, but she only went to kindergarten for one year. The time of going to kindergarten seems to be engraved in her mind. She never needs others to worry about her getting up, which is better than most children. Lu Lianzhi never admits that her children have any problems different from ordinary people, especially in intelligence.
In the hazy morning light, she saw a small fuzzy figure walking out, and her heart hurt. She knew the child wanted to go to school, but no school would accept her. Congenital autism. Lu Lianzhi had never heard of this word before. This inexplicable disease fell into her life out of guard. Silent from birth has been very quiet, rarely cry, and love to ignore the teasing of adults. Any toy can play until tired and sleep alone. Lu Lianzhi thinks it's just the child's temperament. It's a quiet and introverted child. How can it be related to disease. Until after a year of kindergarten, the mental health teacher in the kindergarten advised them (Lin zhe had not left them at that time) to take the children to the hospital for a good examination. They took the child out of the kindergarten, but they couldn't send it in again. Two years later, Lin zhe chose to leave. He said he couldn't stand it
Lu Lianzhi has the habit of drinking morning tea. It's not particular, it's just a habit. For example, someone likes to wake up with a cup of coffee. She changed many kinds of tea and finally chose frozen top oolong. There was a smell of hay after being sunburned by the sun. This smell made her extremely infatuated. The sweet fragrance was also one of the few pleasures in her life. This is not to say that Lu Lianzhi is a pessimist, but optimism is not equal to happiness.
As usual, go to the silent room first, a small room with pink and blue wallpaper. Children generally like blue, the walls are light blue, the bedding on the small bed is dark blue, the small wardrobe is bright blue, and the small desk is covered with a dark blue tablecloth. Sitting quietly and neatly on the bed, looking through the recently bought fairy tale illustrator. She sat down by the bed and her eyes fell on the child's round head: her hair was smooth and soft, emitting a black luster under the incandescent lamp, indicating that the child's nutrition and health were good. Lu Lianzhi has a kind of satisfaction. Yes, at least she raised her children well on her own. She couldn't help reaching out and touching the child's head. The child was indifferent to her caress and immersed in her little-known world.
The silent world is a mystery to her. Silence comes from her. She created this life, but most of the time she doesn't know what the children are thinking. They have almost no tacit understanding. Silence is always alone and hardly open their mouth to express her thoughts. When you take her beloved toy from her hand, she will only look at you quietly. The calm eyes and expressions make it impossible for you to judge her happiness and anger. She seldom cries. After picking her up from the kindergarten for examination, for two years, she and Lin ran around silently for medical treatment. The doctor finally suggested sending the child to a mental health care institution for psychological treatment, but there was no mental health institution in this small city. Later, under the introduction of others, she will silently take her to a retired mental health consultant in the city. That is an old lady with silver hair. She is a widow. Her children are in other places. She has excellent cultivation. She promised to try. For nearly a year, she took the silence to the old lady at nine o'clock every morning and picked it up at six o'clock in the afternoon. The old lady knew her living conditions without charging any fees, and had the right to be accompanied by another granddaughter to spend her lonely days. There are changes. Every time a guest comes to the house and enters the door, she silently raises her head from what she is immersed in, and looks at the guest with a little doubt and surprise in her eyes. Lu Lianzhi led her along the street. When she came across something she was interested in, her eyes would follow it. According to her expression, Lu Lianzhi gradually learned that children like to eat cabbage, agaric, spinach and sweet corn, and their favorite fruits are papaya, crisp pear and persimmon. Hate pork and duck eggs, she is not afraid of spicy, but she hates acetic acid. Once, Lu Lianzhi went to pick her up and met a lame stray cat in front of the flower bed in the community. The cat's left front leg curled up and walked on three legs, which made it top heavy and light, as if it could fall down at any time. The three legged cat bounced in front of them. When they crossed the cat, they silently broke free of her hand, stood by the cat and stared at a pair of surprised eyes. The cat was alert and gave a warning whine in its throat.
"Hurt!" She whispered.
Lu Lianzhi was stunned. She couldn't remember how long she hadn't heard the child speak. Later, she told the old lady about it. The old lady said that she should take the injured cat home. Maybe it was a good start.
Unfortunately, the epidemic is coming, and people all over the country are grounded at home. The old lady may hold her feet for too long during the long period of grounded, get sick, be picked up by her son from other places, and her silent treatment will be cut off. Before leaving, the old lady told her to find out what the children are interested in and find common emotional resonance points as much as possible, which may be a good breakthrough. More importantly, she should be accompanied more. Autistic children are usually very lonely. Silence is good. Some patients will also have behaviors that endanger others and their own safety, such as being interested in fire and always wanting to set fire to things, including lighting their clothes, and so on. Silent independence is also very strong, which is also her advantage. Remember to accompany more.
She remembered. Explain the situation to her boss and her colleagues after the ninth five year plan. They all agree that she works in the afternoon. After 3 p.m. every day, she can only be at home alone. She was a little worried, but she quickly got used to it silently. Lu Lianzhi accompanied her to have breakfast and lunch. Dinner was prepared in advance and put in a double-layer insulated lunch box. She taught her how to open the insulated lunch box and take out the food again and again. When it was time for dinner, she would call her watch. In silence, she would only press the answer button without making a sound. But as long as she can press to answer, Lu Lianzhi is relieved. Her ears are close to the mobile phone and carefully capture the sound at the other end. She heard the child's subtle breathing and the sound of looking through the album from her mobile phone. Lu Lianzhi told the child that it was time to eat. When he was thirsty, he ate the washed crisp pear. She told her to open the insulated lunch box now. Then she heard the footsteps walking silently and the sound of opening the insulated lunch box. Sometimes she heard a slight sigh from the other end, and she knew that the lid of the insulated lunch box had been tightened a little today, and the child was exerting his strength. The sigh was like a hammer. Leng Buding gave her heart so hard. Her eyes warmed up instantly, and all kinds of debts to the child filled her heart. Life is not hard, or maybe she has a big heart. She really doesn't feel how hard. Of course, she will worry about money. She doesn't have much savings, but she always believes in some reassuring qualities in herself. As long as she is still healthy and alive, these qualities can ensure silence and her. In any case, she has a warm breakfast every morning and a warm bath every night, which she promises! Except for the warm breakfast and bath water, as a mother, she has too many responsibilities to do. All she can't do is owe, which makes her unbearable. She often whispered to me on the phone, "mom loves you, baby, you're great!"
Silent breakfast is usually two pumpkin steamed buns, a cup of soybean milk and an egg. She didn't like to drink milk, which the old lady told her. Before, she had milk for breakfast. She wants to change this morning. Lu Lianzhi thought about what to eat while boiling water and tea. She checked the refrigerator, spinach and a little, two tomatoes and a bag of miscellaneous bacteria. That's enough. These are excellent side dishes that can cook two bowls of nutritious pasta. After a cup of fragrant hot tea, the body wakes up completely. At this time, the bright sun just slanted in from the kitchen window. A fine winter day. The thin sunshine immediately made Lu Lianzhi have an inexplicable good impression, and he had a soft good impression on everything around him. This 80 square meter two bedroom house is a second-hand house, which has been a real estate for many years. At that time, she and Lin zhe didn't have so much money to buy a new house for their marriage, so they had to retreat to the second place. When she came in to see the house with the owner, she made up her mind as soon as she saw the window in the kitchen that looked out into the field. Sure enough, every time I cook, I will be relieved of the entanglement from trivial life because of the spring sowing and autumn harvest outside the window. Lin zhe left the house to her, and he assumed part of the loan owed by the house purchase.
The mother and daughter eat breakfast quietly. Lu Lianzhi seldom uses chopsticks, and the smoke from the tea at hand curls. She kept staring silently. The child eats elegantly, chews and swallows slowly with two small red lips closed, and eats every bite very seriously. Her lips are like Lin Zhe, which is also the part that attracts her most. The corners of her mouth are naturally upturned, as if there is a smile on her lips all the time, and her eyebrows are like him, thick and black. Her forehead followed her, and her hairline was neat, but slightly lower. It doesn't look outstanding, but it looks good. She's almost seven, she thought. All primary schools refused to accept it. She accepted this reality. The old lady was grateful for teaching her children many words. What's next? The problem was like a pendulum, which was always swinging in her heart. Now it added new worries and lost her job.
She reached out and touched the child's head. She was a little shorter than her peers.
"Silently, my mother lost her job and no class." She whispered to her. She never concealed anything, including her association with Li Shang. She believes that the child can understand, and she never doubts the child's IQ.
Silently drooping his eyelids, seriously eat a piece of tomato with skin.
……
重點詞匯釋義
放煙花Fireworks; mass production mix; Fireworks Extravaganza
短篇小說short story
腳步聲footsteps; footfall; pitapat
照例as a rule; as usual; usually
沐浴露shower jell; bath lotion
準確無誤accurate and precise; be exact in every particular
自己的self
滿足感satisfaction; gratification
壹聲不吭mute as a fish; keep one's mouth shut; Not a word passed one's lips; not say a word
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