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關於音樂的英語笑話

1How do you get 5 oboes in tune?

Shoot 4 of them.

2How do you make an oboist play a sustained A-flat?

Steal his batteries.

3What's the definition of a nerd?

Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.

4Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?

The bassoon burns longer.

8What are burning oboes used for?

To set bassoons on fire.

9What is another name for a bassoon?

A farting bedpost.

10Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the bassoon recital.

11How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?

Put your hand in the bell and miss notes.

12How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player ?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your ass.

13How do make a trombone sound like a French horn?

Play facing backwards and chip a lot of notes.

14What's the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?

A trombone will bend before it breaks.

15How do make a trombone sound like a French horn?

If a trombone sounded liked anything, it would seek out

petrified bones and reunite with them.

6How do you make a French horn sound like a trombone?

Take your hand out of the bell and miss entrances.

7There was a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west.   

What can be surmised from this?

The frog's probably on its way to a gig.