1、壹個女生前壹天晚上得到男朋友的訂婚戒指，但竟沒有壹個同學註意到，令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐著談天的時候，她突然站起來大聲說：“哎呀，這裏真熱呀，我看我還是把戒指脫下來吧。” 2、女主人把女傭叫到面前問她：“妳是否懷孕了？” “是啊！”女傭回道。 “虧妳還說得出口，妳還沒有結婚，難道不覺得害羞嗎？”女主人再次訓。 “我為什麽要害羞，女主人妳自己不也懷孕了嗎？” “可是我懷的是我丈夫的！”女主人生氣地反駁。 “我也是啊！”女傭高興地附和。 3、壹個人騎摩托車喜歡反穿衣服，就是把口子在後面扣上，可以擋風。壹天他酒後駕駛， 翻了，壹頭栽在路旁。警察趕到： 警察甲：好嚴重的車禍。 警察乙：是啊，腦袋都撞到後面去了。 警察甲：嗯，還有呼吸，我們幫他把頭轉回來吧。 警察乙：好.....壹、二使勁，轉回來了。 警察甲：嗯，沒有呼吸了....... 4、在壹條七拐八拐的鄉村公路上，因為時常發生車禍，所以常常有壹些鬼故事發生，有壹天晚上，有壹個出租車司機看見路邊有壹個長發披肩，身著白衣的女人向他招手，因為這個司機沒有見過鬼，所以大膽的停下來讓她上車了，這壹路上,司機雖然不信有鬼，心裏也毛毛的，所以時常從後視鏡看後面的女人，開著開著，突然司機發現那個女人不見了！司機嚇了壹大跳，趕緊踩了壹個剎車！只見那個女人滿臉是血，表情猙獰。司機嚇的牙直打顫。突然那女人開口了：“妳會不會開車啊！我低頭系個鞋帶妳突然壹剎車我把鼻子都撞破了……” 5、壹個病人去看病，醫生檢查了他，皺著眉頭說：“您病得太嚴重了，恐怕不會活多久了。” 病人：“求您告訴我我還能活多久？” 醫生：“十……” 病人著急地問：“十什麽？十年十個月？十天？” 醫生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……” 6、老師：“妳能說壹些18世紀科學家***同特點嗎？” 學生：“能，他們都死了。” 7、犀糞蜣和蚊子談戀愛，蜣問蚊子是做什麽工作的，蚊子說：“護士，打針的。”蜣壹拍大腿：“緣分吶，我是中藥局搓藥丸的…” 8、壹非洲人住在某壹賓館。夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人見狀顧不了那麽許多，光著身子就跑出去了。消防員見狀驚呼：“我的媽呀！都燒的糊了吧區的了還能跑那麽快！” 9、壹個人想出國考察，但必須得到老總批準。於是他向老總請示，老總給了他壹張字條，上面寫著：“Go ahead”。 那人想：“Go ahead=前進，老總是批準了。”於是他開始打點行李。 壹個同事見到了他問：“妳在做什啊”他說：“我準備出國考察，老總批準了，給我寫了‘Go ahead’。” 同事壹見條就樂了：“咱們老總根本就沒批準！！咱老總的英語水平妳還不知道，他這是在說去個頭！” 10、牧師對買了他馬和馬車的農夫說：“這匹馬只能聽懂教會的語言，叫"感謝上帝"它就跑;叫"贊美上帝"它才停下。”農夫將信將疑，他試著喊了壹聲感謝上帝，那匹馬立刻飛奔起來，越跑越快。壹只跑到懸崖邊上驚恐的農夫才想起讓它停下來的口令“贊美上帝”。果然，馬停下來了。死裏逃生的農夫長出壹口氣：“感謝上帝………”
我打了很久，請采納
1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years? Ten months Ten days?\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"
I played for a long time, please